"Yes, I now see it. It isn't going to work. I now realize that you really don't love me. I now realize that you are saying that it just isn't there for you and you just don't feel the feelings you want to feel to be in a romantic relationship. I now realize that you believe that you may have NEVER been in love with me. I don't know what took me so long to understand that. It suddenly hit me that it probably irritates you to no end just to give me a hug. I NOW get it. I agree. It is never going to work when a person feels like that. It wouldn't be fair to either one of us. I am not even sure how I feel anymore about you after all that has happened. From this point on I promise you that I am going to stop trying. I should have realized this a long time ago."
And THEN you do exactly that.
No more figuring out. No more wondering. No more analysis. Total acceptance of the reality the way she sees it.
