Yes, I just had a bad day today. I am going out on a date tonight so that will help. My R is over. There is no going back. It is stupid to miss her love or even think of it-it's gone and it is not coming back not matter what. I would rather die myself than take her back. I can not ever forgive what she has done. I can never live with her. I would bring it up every fight. I know this, I know me so I know that there is no sense working on anything except getting on with my life without her in it or being a part of it. They talk about boundaries all the time on this site. Well the boundary was crossed. I hate her for it. There I said it, first time I have said it. The hate does not make me boil up and fester. Losing what I thought was my best friend and life long partner is what hurts. The last talk we had she told me she wants to be buried beside me. Now that is kind of morbid but I know how she meant it. Well, she had her chance to do this. She had my love weither she knew it or not, it does not matter now. I just need to scream a little and get over it. Going to go on my date, get up and work tomorrow and then play some golf. My son is coming down to visit this weekend. I hope I am not a downer for him. I don't want to be sad around him. He knows that I am having problems but I don't want to have to fake paint my smile on. Oh, this is not mine and my ex's son. He is from a previous relationship. Best of luck to you guys this weekend.
