Boundaries in Marriage

[Dr LOve]

HFF,

I'm going to set boundaries over undisputed major boundary violations--spending the night at the OP's place, or taking a vacation with him. Having a tantrum over furniture items or her talking on the phone with him, or dancing with him, or helping him move is not where I want to put my energy. I don't like it, but don't consider these major boundary violations.
CL

CL,
You and I both need to work on ourselves… WE both need do become positive leaders..I have not read your book but I have to agree with you about setting the bounders up.
You and I are walking a thin line, I know both of us are better off than we were two years ago but I also know that even right now with my W telling me the OM is nothing to worry about.. If I said I do not want her to ever talk to him again... The negotiations would be over. Kind of like telling a kid they can’t have something makes them want it more… Or just doing something because you want to show someone they (us) can’t tell you what to do. (Even though they would normally not do it anyway.)
NO MORE spending the night at the OP's place or taking a vacation with him... I would also throw in no going dancing with him without YOU present... Although if he IS moving this should not be an Issue.

Good luck buddy... Tonight is the last night of my father / son Vacation… Tomorrow night I will not be sleeping alone for the first time in two years……..not sure what I am coming “home” to...