Busting the affair is letting your spouse and family know what is going on. It's called bring it to light. I am assuming from reading your postings that this is not a physical affair, but an emotional one. Emotional ones take more time and are harder to let go of by both parties.
If you bust the affair, you bring it out in the open and that's all you do. Do not continue to harp on it w/him or bring up the affair partner. If you do, you may very well push him into defending her and wanting to protect her from you and anyone else who attempts to talk some sense into his head.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
