You CAN end the affair by busting it, there are techniques you can do to take all the excitement OUT of the affair such that it's not worth it anymore.
Further, waiting for the A to fizzle out on its own? Have you read the statistics on that, particularly for female wayward spouses? Not good or a safe bet at all unless you like waiting three or four years...
And I don't agree with the grin and bear it approach either, it just sends the wrong message to your H that you are OK with him cheating and abandoning the family etc... and turning you into a doormat.
I just hear the same stories from the same people here IT, all the infidelity newcomers say the same thing
1. I think its best to not bring up the affair 2. I want to just wait and see 3. The affair might fizzle out on its own 4. He will just get mad at me and the affair will get worse.
etc... They all say the same thing and none of these work... ask the regulars here who spent one year, two years, even THREE YEARS playing softball with an affair only to watch it get worse...
It takes months and months for the newcomers to finally realize the affair is NOT like a bad cold. The affair is NOT going to go away on its own. And ignoring it isn't going to help it go away any faster.
The only thing you will likely do is give yourself a severe case of depression and make yourself physically ill. We aren't mad and we don't want you to feel like crap, but you DO need to hear the facts... there are some people on this forum who have been here for YEARS.. we have heard all the same stories and see the same patterns...
And newcomers arrive here and just don't want to hear it... They want to hear that they can avoid confrontation, painful choices, and that this will all float away on its own if you just sit for a little while and have some patience. I have NEVER seen that work... NEVER
