Ok. After the text she gets on the way out of town, she may spend more time "sweeping up the sandtrap" than having any fun.
Other than her mom (who will also be out that way) and the aunt she is going to see out there, I have no other 'potential allies' on her side of the circle. And, frankly, I doubt she cares about any on my side. Plus, for her to turn around, the embarassment factor of my family knowing the details would be too much.
So I spoke to an attorney. A different one. She had some good news and bad news.
Bad news- Adultery means nothing here. The contract of marriage is not really upheld with any teeth. We went no-fault in '82. Just goes to character and behavior but not punitive. I can't get an RO on him because she is apparently free to do as she pleases. Nice, eh? I can't keep him away from D for same reason unless abusive. I can't demand she leave over infidelity. I could file an Exluionary Home Possession-prove she has a place to go (him) but then she would have no obligation to contribute financially. THIS SUCKS. COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS.
Good news- She recommended two mediators that know this stuff better than most divorce judges. She recommended speaking with one ASAP regarding firewalling the finances. Get 'something on paper" from her (with help pfrom mediator if possible) to guarantee her financial commitment and get the house up for sale. I cannot get her OFF access to the joint account. What I can do is set up my own (her the same) and we agree on paper to split the "household bills". As close to a firewall as poss.
SET an appointment to meet the mediator together when she gets back.
I can still use the Home Excemption without the courts. Just need the mediator to accept it.
This will be a "Battle Royale" when she finds out she is broke.
But what's she gonna do? Divorce me? The only thing she would have is to attempt Custody action but if I alreadt have that on paper...........:)
Pretty PO'd at the complete lack of consequences for her bhvr. Unbelievable.
L even said "Date now if you want. It won't matter now"
WTF?
The only possible upside is that it will either quicken my freedom from this CB or make her look one more time. I'm good either way.
Yeah, well I'll come out of this with my dignity; enough for a down payment on the kind of house I enjoyed when I met her; a beautiful daughter; and I won't have to go through the implosion of an affair andd then realize what I've REALLY lost.
I'm cool. Just want my life back. Now sooner than before.
Drop the rope? What rope?
I'm really not that intereted in digging/snooping much further into the A. I know enough. What do I need? Video?
If anything I want to know more about him and his background. But he's a dead-end unless I want to risk my own exposre. Not worth it unless I can get it without risk to me.
