1. I analyze things to death and while I'm willing to listen to others, I usually always think my way is best and try to show them why it is. (Jack's thinking..see, I knew it!!). I will however, admit when I'm wrong and if shown the logic of the new way, throw myself into that with Gusto!!
2. I have yo-yoed with my weight over the years for whatever the reason. Doesn't matter why. I gained weight. Looked and felt frumpy and my self esteem took a hit because of it.
3. I went into a sort of depression when we had to move here 3.5 years ago for my H job. I loved the house we moved from and was extremely happy there. I was resentful because we had to move from there. I didn't know anyone here, couldn't visit my friends and family easily, and when my H suggested that I could retire early and do some of the stuff that I hadn't had a chance to do before when I was working..i did. It was a mistake. I became dependent, shut myself in like a hermit, clung to him like a wet rag when he came home and lost myself.
4. I missed some of the clues to his unhappiness over the years. If I had been a better listener or was watching for little nuances, I may have seen them.
5. Sex became routine and boring..I attribute that to the weight gain. i was self-conscious..but not enough to do take care of it. I told myself that he should love me for who I am not what I look like.
6. I became more of a best friend than a wife..because i thought that is what you're supposed to do. Boundaries became fuzzy.
7. Speaking of boundaries..I've never really had any..didn't even know what they were. Still kinda new to that whole concept.
8. And there is something I should have been able to do about the stepkid thing..my 3 and his 1. We never really seemed to be able to figure out how to develop a closer bond with each other's kids. i thought it would just work itself out..but never did. He thinks my kids don't really care about him (and they do) and I think his doesn't really care about me either. he didn't take on a parenting role with mine and I didn't with his..he wanted it that way.
I'm sure I'll think of more..but those are the ones I can think of off the top of my head. I'm working on all of the above, now that I've identified them. My C helped me with that.
