W asked me last night, "What's the problem?" I said "You are destroying my family." She acted shocked to hear I would think that. "I am destroying your family? I can't talk to you when you are like this." I didn't even want to look at her.
That about sums it all up. I have heard similar things as I'm sure we all have to one degree or another. It's no wonder we drive ourselves crazy trying to understand them and trying to save our M when we are obviously not dealing with people in their right minds. In their minds, we are the ones who are at fault for EVERYTHING.
As we become wiser and learn all of this for ourselves, we really have no other choice but to let them go, drop the rope, hit the road, see ya, wouldn't want to be ya. Someone posted on my thread yesterday(I'll go back and see who so I can give props!)that "IDU could become as smart as Einstein and have the body of Atlas and it still wouldn't attract his W to him while she is having an A." That is a very loose quote. So we finally get to the point where we realize what all the vets tell us when we first log on: agree with her that it's over, validate her when she bitches about how bad you were, don't argue with her, stand up to her and don't let her push you around, don't be afraid of her or afraid if she will leave. She cannot be reasoned with. Period.
I understand having young kids involved adds an extra layer of suckiness to the whole deal. Those of us in that boat really have to follow the same path. The ONLY way that they MAY come back is to know that we are fine with their decision, we will be okay, even great without them and can't wait to start our new, single lives.
