Well, he wanted to talk last night and it didn't go that great. Basically he told me that I have been emotionally abusive to him for 10 years and that the pain that I have caused him over the years is probably about equal to the pain that he is causing me right now with his affair and divorce. He didn't go so far as to say that I caused the affair, but it certainly seemed implied.
Which is all BS of course. He never said anything to me - this was all such a shock back in January when he said he was unhappy and wanted out. And every single issue he has brought up in marriage counseling since then I have worked on and made huge improvements. I know intellectually that he is just trying to justify his horrible behavior in any way possible, but it still hurts terribly.
And he still refuses to move out. I am convinced that he needs to be on his own, doing the single dad thing, shopping for his own groceries, etc. before he will realize what he is giving up. So I am going to move out. If this whole divorce does go through I will need to find a new place anyway, so I plan on renting something for a year with the idea I could always break the lease if needed.
Is this a good idea? Or should I continue to live in the same house as him, spending our evenings and nights separately but acting like all is normal around the kids, basically letting him eat cake? My lawyer says as long as we have the custody issues worked out (our friend of the court appointment is Tuesday) it is fine either way.
