These WAS are destroying families. She is not going to take responsibility for anything right now, so it is best for you to not even look at her because it will cause you more pain.
You will be okay as you move through this very difficult time for you and your family.
Hey LSG.
Sometimes we have to look at it from their perspective. She's doing exactly what she wants to do. It feels good for her and she's in love with the lover.
She doesn't understand that the act of doing the affair is generating a lust in the brain, similar to a criminal getting away with crimes over and over again. She also doesn't understand that the act of doing the affair has generated a gap in between you and her. She's going to protect her decision and she's "in love". This is the truth to her. The truth is also she doesn't feel any if much at all for you, and has a strong feeling and feelings of connection to the affair partner. That she feels any attempt to explain this to her, is you trying to break them up. That she made an adult decision and she's comfortable with it, even though there is a small amount of guilt for what she did to you that she's moving on with her life.
So knowing this, what can we do?
I remember when I had an affair in my previous situation there were a couple of things that could have awaken me and brought me home with a newfound intensity.
I'll make a list:
1. If I found that the affair partner was intentionally messing with me to drive a wedge between me and my wife, to break us up and she would ruin me after this. 2. If I found that my affair partner was having an affair with me to get information which she would provide to cronies and others so they could rob, decieve me and put me and my then family into harms way.3 3. If any of the affair partners "world" had attacked me or my family. 4. If the affair partner had jeopardized my career or the affair was found to intenionally put me in harms way or hurt my reputation 5. If I discovered that the affair partner was a "professional", that she preyed on married men and there was a pattern - that after the affair the husband was fleeced. 6. If I discovered the affair partner had a pattern of people she had relationships with suffered from a demise.
outside of this there was not much. With the last ditch effort, anything goes because she's not being ethical with you. How about generating one of these conditions with enough evidence that it is "real" to her, that affair partner was only getting close to intentially put her, you and your family in harms way or to open you up for blackmail, etc?
