"Identity Crisis" no OW - be friends or not?

[gatsby11]

Hi,

I've got a thread over in newcomers. Basic gist: Married for 8.5 years and 20 weeks pregnant at the time of the bomb. Pregnancy was planned, but he wasn't very excited.

Oct- Dec: He was depressed and suicidal. We decided to get him into therapy.
Jan 8: First therapy session. I figure he's dealing with the pregnancy.
Jan 14: Tells me that he's looking at his life and he doesn't like what he sees. He doesn't want to be married anymore, but he wants to stay friends.

It deteriorated after that. He made out with a co-worker. Anger, fights, I moved out and separated all finances. Then NC.

As you can see in my signature, I then emerged from my NCness to send some slightly pleasant emails so that he and I could have a decent relationship for the birth. He responded well. Then the birth, and he wanted to be over all the time. We enjoyed doing the 'old things' we used to do. He said specifically he missed these things and wanted to spend time with me. He was consistently complimentary and loving. Three weeks went by.

Then I said I wanted his influence in my life and I wanted to R. And if he didn't, then we shouldn't continue hanging out as friends. He cried. (He cries all the time since the bomb.) He didn't directly say so, but he implied that he didn't want to R.

Now he has continued sending me friendly/funny/nostalgic texts and says he can spend the night if I want him to. So he's really pushing the friends thing.

My question is: should I continue to indulge him (eat cake, as I see it) with a friendship because he is MLC and that helps his type reconcile with LBS? Or should I 'stay the course' of being strictly about the baby?

I put "no OW" in the title. As far as I can see, there is no evidence for an OW. I've seen him in town without his knowledge a few times and he was either alone or with a male friend. His father (who is on 'both' sides but mostly mine) has grilled him about another woman and WH denies. Long story short, I don't think there's an OW.

I don't intend this thread to replace my regular one over in newcomers. I hope that you MLC vets can advise me about the friends situation. I know all about the DB stuff: 180s, GAL, etc etc. But there's not too much dialogue, that I can see, about MLC without OW.

No 2 x 4s. Challenges are great, but please be respectful.

Thanks, you guys are great!