Keep praying and keep feeling the power of the prayers from others who care about you, including your community here. Remember that God's plan is a perfect one, so pray that He gives you guidance and that your heart be open to it.
Wife changed her name on facebook to her new last name. It really hurt me. I am still in shock that she married someone so quick. This was not an affair that had been going on. This was truely an escape so that we would not get back together like we always do after a fight. She does not love me anymore. She is going to try to make this marriage to other man work. It will not. They have know each other for a couple of weeks now. This is not a joke. She was so scared of getting back with me and me treating her bad that she married the first person that even thought about asking her. I know she doen't love him. She told me herself that she doesn't even know him. This should be prove alone that she is nuts. And I do fully intend to go my own way now. I have heard lots of crazy stories on this site but mine still stands of one of the stupidest. My wife is not the one I feel in love with, she is not the women I loved. She is a drug addict that has went off her rocker. Marrying a guy after knowing him 5 days. She was not a whore or slut. She was a decent girl. I am still in shock but have been talking to people like my mother and a counceler. I have been going out with friends and having good times where I don't think about this. It is just pure insanity. You people have a chance to get your marriage back but I do not. She is already married. 5 damn days after telling me how much she loved me. And no, he is not better looking than me, makes less money, doesn't care about her as much, and these are her words. But he doesn't call her names or make her feel bad about herself yet. When he finds out that she will not do anything that might change. We had a little fight and she just said screw it-I have to do something that will make me never go back. She did it. NO matter what happens I will not take her back. And I do believe that she will be showing up on my door in a couple of months asking to work it out. But, maybe not, maybe you can fall in love with someone you meet for 5 days. What an idiot she is. Oh, well, I really am not angry with her, I feel sorry for her. I know she has a drug problem and mental issues. So, no one can tell me what to do except get over it and leave her. She is not like you guy's exes. She is truly a nut. She has really lost her mind. No one gets married for the sake of making sure she doesn't get back with their husband. It is just such a damn shock. This is not a DBing issue. This is an issue that she is really not fit to be my wife again although I really believe that will be a decision I will be making some day. And the answer will be no. Hell no.
Wife changed her name on facebook to her new last name. It really hurt me. I am still in shock that she married someone so quick. This was not an affair that had been going on. This was truely an escape so that we would not get back together like we always do after a fight. She does not love me anymore. She is going to try to make this marriage to other man work. It will not. They have know each other for a couple of weeks now. This is not a joke. She was so scared of getting back with me and me treating her bad that she married the first person that even thought about asking her. I know she doen't love him. She told me herself that she doesn't even know him. This should be prove alone that she is nuts. And I do fully intend to go my own way now. I have heard lots of crazy stories on this site but mine still stands of one of the stupidest. My wife is not the one I feel in love with, she is not the women I loved. She is a drug addict that has went off her rocker. Marrying a guy after knowing him 5 days. She was not a whore or slut. She was a decent girl. I am still in shock but have been talking to people like my mother and a counceler. I have been going out with friends and having good times where I don't think about this. It is just pure insanity. You people have a chance to get your marriage back but I do not. She is already married. 5 damn days after telling me how much she loved me. And no, he is not better looking than me, makes less money, doesn't care about her as much, and these are her words. But he doesn't call her names or make her feel bad about herself yet. When he finds out that she will not do anything that might change. We had a little fight and she just said screw it-I have to do something that will make me never go back. She did it. NO matter what happens I will not take her back. And I do believe that she will be showing up on my door in a couple of months asking to work it out. But, maybe not, maybe you can fall in love with someone you meet for 5 days. What an idiot she is. Oh, well, I really am not angry with her, I feel sorry for her. I know she has a drug problem and mental issues. So, no one can tell me what to do except get over it and leave her. She is not like you guy's exes. She is truly a nut. She has really lost her mind. No one gets married for the sake of making sure she doesn't get back with their husband. It is just such a damn shock. This is not a DBing issue. This is an issue that she is really not fit to be my wife again although I really believe that will be a decision I will be making some day. And the answer will be no. Hell no.
First off, stop blaming yourself for her choices. YOU did not force her to marry this other guy. It was her choice. STOP beating yourself up for her poor choices.
Now start living for yourself. Even if you were to get back together, if you don't start taking care of yourself you're going to end up with two dysfunctional people again.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I just read through some of your posts. You sound a little bit like my husband...except that you were at one point willing to work it out with your W. I am curious to know how the gambling started and why u did it. Did u get help to stop? I am just looking for some perspective on this. My H has also been having thoughts of suicide and I have been very worried.
It sounds like you are in a better place now...even though u may not be able to totally see it. A decision has been made and ur life is no longer in limbo. U are GAL and going out with friends etc. She is moving on with hers. As much as this stings now it will get better with time and u may be able to finally find happiness. U may even be able to forgive ur EX and never say never about getting back together. U don't know what the future holds. I think that is part of the DBing and the divorce remedy book. UR change can induce change in ur partner and it could be for the better.
M=42 H=51 Common-law 6yr Children: 11yr old daughter (previous marrIage) 6yr old son Bomb dropped January 2013
So sorry Par....this has got to hurt. Please try and remember that she is a nut and this is not a reflection on you as a person
M: 39 W: 39 Kids (3): S10; S8; D4 Married 14 years Togethor: 18 years Wife's Weird Behavior Started: 2nd Half of 2009 Bomb Dropped (about being "so done"): 2/17/10 Current Status: In counseling
I stopped gambling just because I was so hung up on this stuff. I didn't really need help. I just wasn't interested in it anymore. I would rather read the posts on this site and try to find the reason my life is insanity right now. I am still destroyed. I am still in shock. I still hate the first moment that my eyes open up in the morning. How damn long does this last. I know it is my emotions that control my happenness. But i am codependent, I am loser, I did get my self worth from this women telling how great and special I was. Now that she is acting like I am worthless-I feel that way. She doesnt know what I am going through. She is on with her life. I don't know how she is doing or feeling. She is a nut. I dont need to forgive her. I need to forgive myself and go on with my life. There is just a void in my heart and my mind. There is not the person telling what a bright, good looking guy I am. I do feel like it is a reflection on me-it shows me that I am weak and that I let another person destroy my happiness and I can not seem to get it back. Getting her back will not help. I don't want this back. It was unhealthly. I would like her to be the one hurting. And who is to say she is not but I dont know it. I am not letting her know how much I am hurt anymore. I still think of killing myself. I am not going to but I think sometimes it would solve the pain and sometimes that pain is so great. What is the point of life if it is awful. If you hate waking up, if the birds dont sing and the flowers dont smell good? Food is something you have to choke down and smiles are forced. The only thing I have is hope that someday that will change. That is the only thing keeping me here. It just needs to change faster. Selfish you say? Hell yes, I am, I want my life to be happy and joyfull again. I want to be happy. I want to experience love again. Time will heal. Screw time. I have been waking up day after day and nothing has changed except the date. Life is simple not fun, not enjoyable, not really worth living. No, I am not going to kill myself but If I had a heartattack or was in a bad car accident I wouldn't care. I just don't. It is not all over this girl. I have been depressed along time. I take my meds for it. Doesnt work, doesnt help. Sorry guys, I want you guys to get better. I want you guys not to hurt but I think that I just want to wallow in my pain. I dont think it will ever go away.
The pain does go away. YOU have to let go. Once I did, the weight on me was lifted. I'm not going to say all the pain left, but hte burden was gone. I am happier now.
You need to let go, then GAL. It is great you quite gambling. What else do you want to do? Since you are not throwing money away now, you can put it towards something fun and exciting to do.
Me 31 Wife 34 (Step)D 15 /(Step)S 13 / D 6 Married 3/3/01 Separated 6/4/10 Bomb 6/14/10 Served 6/22/10 EA/PA Discovered 7/5/10 Now Back Together 8/1/10
I stopped gambling just because I was so hung up on this stuff. I didn't really need help. I just wasn't interested in it anymore. I would rather read the posts on this site and try to find the reason my life is insanity right now. I am still destroyed. I am still in shock. I still hate the first moment that my eyes open up in the morning. How damn long does this last. I know it is my emotions that control my happenness. But i am codependent, I am loser, I did get my self worth from this women telling how great and special I was. Now that she is acting like I am worthless-I feel that way. She doesnt know what I am going through. She is on with her life. I don't know how she is doing or feeling. She is a nut. I dont need to forgive her. I need to forgive myself and go on with my life. There is just a void in my heart and my mind. There is not the person telling what a bright, good looking guy I am. I do feel like it is a reflection on me-it shows me that I am weak and that I let another person destroy my happiness and I can not seem to get it back. Getting her back will not help. I don't want this back. It was unhealthly. I would like her to be the one hurting. And who is to say she is not but I dont know it. I am not letting her know how much I am hurt anymore. I still think of killing myself. I am not going to but I think sometimes it would solve the pain and sometimes that pain is so great. What is the point of life if it is awful. If you hate waking up, if the birds dont sing and the flowers dont smell good? Food is something you have to choke down and smiles are forced. The only thing I have is hope that someday that will change. That is the only thing keeping me here. It just needs to change faster. Selfish you say? Hell yes, I am, I want my life to be happy and joyfull again. I want to be happy. I want to experience love again. Time will heal. Screw time. I have been waking up day after day and nothing has changed except the date. Life is simple not fun, not enjoyable, not really worth living. No, I am not going to kill myself but If I had a heartattack or was in a bad car accident I wouldn't care. I just don't. It is not all over this girl. I have been depressed along time. I take my meds for it. Doesnt work, doesnt help. Sorry guys, I want you guys to get better. I want you guys not to hurt but I think that I just want to wallow in my pain. I dont think it will ever go away.
What many in the world will say to your current issue, find a "new girl", one who appreciates you. Your life will be better.
