We had a good trip. The wife was acting almost normal and we got along well for 4 days. Of course, when we got home last night, the alien returned. She was consistently short with me and when I tried to give her a hug (I know...mistake....but it has been so long), she said "don't touch me". I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. I am preparing to throw in the towel. I don't deserve this treatment
M: 39 W: 39 Kids (3): S10; S8; D4 Married 14 years Togethor: 18 years Wife's Weird Behavior Started: 2nd Half of 2009 Bomb Dropped (about being "so done"): 2/17/10 Current Status: In counseling
She's bored at home. She needs something to look forward to, plan another trip. If she doesn't want to go you go anyway.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
I almost feel like she is pushing me to file so I will be the "bad guy"
M: 39 W: 39 Kids (3): S10; S8; D4 Married 14 years Togethor: 18 years Wife's Weird Behavior Started: 2nd Half of 2009 Bomb Dropped (about being "so done"): 2/17/10 Current Status: In counseling
I asked my W that one time a few weeks before she filed. I said, "Are you TRYING to drive me away?" She replied, "I don't know. Maybe I am." That was certainly how I felt at the time.
My Sister told me to let W to be the one to file so if the kids ever looked it up when they got older, they would see that it was her.
I don't know what to tell you Barkley. Sorry I don't have better advice.....
The wife just called me to ask for a seperation to hopefully "stir up some positive feelings within her" becuase counseling isn't working. She then asked me where I was going to stay. I said I'm not going anywhere, you are the one that wants to break up this family, not me. She then had the balls to say "so you're done, you're not willing to work on this". "You can't treat someone like [censored] for 10 years" and expect them to just forgive you overnight". I said, I am still willing to try, what have I been doing for the last 5 months? I am not moving out, I said. She said "we're done then" and hung up the phone. So I expect papers within the next several days.
M: 39 W: 39 Kids (3): S10; S8; D4 Married 14 years Togethor: 18 years Wife's Weird Behavior Started: 2nd Half of 2009 Bomb Dropped (about being "so done"): 2/17/10 Current Status: In counseling
M: 39 W: 39 Kids (3): S10; S8; D4 Married 14 years Togethor: 18 years Wife's Weird Behavior Started: 2nd Half of 2009 Bomb Dropped (about being "so done"): 2/17/10 Current Status: In counseling
M: 39 W: 39 Kids (3): S10; S8; D4 Married 14 years Togethor: 18 years Wife's Weird Behavior Started: 2nd Half of 2009 Bomb Dropped (about being "so done"): 2/17/10 Current Status: In counseling
What should I do? How should I act around her? She just left to "run errands". Help!
M: 39 W: 39 Kids (3): S10; S8; D4 Married 14 years Togethor: 18 years Wife's Weird Behavior Started: 2nd Half of 2009 Bomb Dropped (about being "so done"): 2/17/10 Current Status: In counseling
that's ok, you can handle it, don't let her kick you out, listen to what she was saying: she wants to file for separation and have you move out but her logic behind this is to hopefully stir up some "positive feelings" towards you and your marriage together, I'll just come out and say it, that's a big lie, you did the right thing, stand your ground, if she wants to break up the marriage, file for separation/divorce, she can also be the one to move out, if she really wants to be out on her own, let her go, don't hold her back, in fact, hold the door open for her and let her go freely!
