whatdidido has changed to whatamigoingtodo

[whatamigoingtodo]

Saffie- Thank you so much for your thoughts and suggestions. I'm sorry it has taken so long to respond.

You hit the nail on the head that our marriage is like an arranged one. My H and I have talked about this. We both see it this way. You are also right that the mutual respect is lacking. The counselor has said this as well. He is working on building himself up to having his own thoughts and feelings. This is hard for him. The counselor is having him come to me once a day to share his feelings. Again, just THAT is difficult for him.
Your point was made in that I need to stop talking negatively about him. I think my feeling that I'm "done pretending" has produced this negativity. But, maybe I can stop pretending, but not dwell.

Fostering a caring environment is what I want....but I feel I have done and it has not changed us.....We have tried mixing with other couples and it does help...should do it more...but, in other ways it just pinpoints what we DON"T have and they DO. I can try to let the little things go.