I've been following your sitch. If there's a possible custody suit looming about your D I would advise you to be absolutely squeaky clean. Show court who has been the responsible parent in this M.
Puppy has given you excellent advice about when to drop the bomb. If you do it right before W leaves it will spoil the time she and OM have together.
Don't tip your hand in that regard till then. You can keep it under control. You've been doing a great job so far.
