I think that I misspoke about being passive. I'm probably more passive-aggressive and I see myself (and she has seen me) as being difficult and controlling. So my 180 with this is just to be direct, say exactly what I think and need.
The brick by brick idea is something I've decided is accurate. This has built up slowly over time, and it'll take a lot of effort and time to tear it down brick by brick. I'm sure that as she sees the changes in me persist, it'll get easier, but for now she doesn't trust me to follow through.
So I'm primarily concentrating on getting in better shape, improving my appearance, being a great father, being much calmer than I've been in the past 5 years, and also being there for her when she's ready to talk.
One thing our MC said in my solo session is that we both need to be brave enough to talk to each other when something is pressing. That we got to this point in our R by avoiding the tough subjects. In a lot of ways, the homework the MC is assigning us is good because it kind of forces my W to think about her actions a bit more than she normally would.
