Jack, I really don't think I can talk him out of his MLC. I know it is what I refer to as a "growth spurt" and necessary for his big leap into manhood. I am actually excited to see the man he is about to become..and hope that I get that chance. I know he needs to figure this out for himself, just like I had to get thru the couple of massive growth spurts that I have been thru in my life. I am going thru one now, as a result of his MLC. My friends and family are there for me, and granted, I'm much more clear headed about it since what I'm going thru isn't depression or mental illness..but it has still been a tough row to hoe..not only for me but for my support group as well. I thank God every day for my little group of people who have been there for me from day 1. I'm not sure how I would have done it w/o them.

I also have seen the similarities between the symptoms that repeatedly pop up on this form regarding the MLC behavior. He has many of those symptoms/behaviors. The things I didn't know and am learning from you guys are things like:

MLCers can't handle pressure..and that they run away if they are feeling any pressure. He was always good when there was a stressful sitch or any kind of pressure. I didn't realize that he couldn't handle ANY while he is dealing with this. Now I need to figure out what I'm doing that may be interpreted by him as pressure. The talks, I'm sure and some of the things I say..didn't stop to think about my telling him he is my favorite person..and how that might be perceived as pressure or make him feel guilty. His LL is words of affirmation, so I was trying to support him.

How detaching is good for me. And I hope that you guys will continue to spell it out in detail as you have been doing because for some odd reason I am having a hard time grasping just how to do it on a day to day basis.

And all of you are right too in saying that being confident, looking good, doing stuff for myself, smiling and being happy is attractive. I have actually made massive strides in this area since starting the Wellbutrin. It evens me out and stops the anxiety and panic attacks. Those were definately NOT attractive. I'm sure I freaked him right out with that.

He has told me that he misses me when he doesn't hear from me for awhile..when he's traveling..and he also said that when he was living away from home for those couple of months. So, I need to get doing some stuff away from him and our house and let him miss me.

With each down swoop of the rollercoaster, I have inched my way to formulating a plan for what I will do if this doesn't work out. The plan gets easier to envision. When this first happened, I couldn't IMAGINE my life without him. I still want to grow old with him more than anything, but I know I'll be ok if it doesn't happen. I seem to think I can break thru that fog just enough to help him see what he's throwing away. And I guess I underestimated the hold this has over the MLCers. There really is nothing I can do..and that makes me feel so helpless. Watching him spiral out of control, saying and doing all these crazy things that he never ever would have done before.

Praying has been one of my constants. God loves me no matter what and always has my best interests in mind.

Thanks for saying I'm doing some stuff right..sometimes it doesn't feel that way. Once in a while I beat myself up but it doesn't last long because I do know I'm a pretty good human being. I've got alot to learn but I like learning so that's all good.

Please keep the tips coming. I'm listening and absorbing like a sponge.