Does he have any kind of schedule that he is currently keeping with regards to visiting S? How is money currently handled?
In my case, My H said he would come to visit D's one day a week (and has kept to that) and we agreed to a $ amount (verbally) that he has always had to me on time.
This has just been my experience and believe me I know how very lucky I am. Would I hesitate to address it if I needed to? No.
What do you think you need to do? If you need to have a legal agreement to protect yourself, then that's what you have to do. Whether you're poking him or not.
I know when I feel this way, it's time to get up, get out and get moving. I'm headed out the door to walk my poor puppy around the block. It will take some time, but I'll enjoy the evening air, check out the neighbors' flowers, and maybe connect with a neighbor or two. Get going! See you when we get back.
M 65 H 64 T 39 & M 36 @ S 12/08 Two Ds
Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. ~ The Weather Man
I am crappy - my 16 year old S is pushing boundaries and I feel all alone and struggling to be the bad guy. H won't answer calls or emails or texts. I don't understand this bizzaro world I find myself in!
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
Honey, I'm sorry you are having a rough night. It's perfectly normal at this stage.
My son was your son's age when all this started. You need to do what you have to regarding him. My h was running away from the responsibility and someone had to be the grown up. So, I dug in and did it. You can, too.
So please stop trying to contact your h and handle it because he is incapable of it right now.
IB, be the bad guy. Yes, it's hard, but you will not be the bad guy forever. Set the boundaries, state the consequences, and then follow through. What is he doing?
M 65 H 64 T 39 & M 36 @ S 12/08 Two Ds
Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. ~ The Weather Man
Thanks...you have no idea how much I needed to hear your voices! I'm trying so hard to take the high road - but I am in so much mourning and overwhelmed by the devastation this has created! In the past - all of this - feeding S's teammates and being the "cheerleader" was so much easier when there were two of us at the helm - now it's just me and I am crushed! More self pity - sorry!
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
