my Husband told me he wants a divorce Monday night. This is the second time first time 2 years ago. I have been divorce busting.
I have one quick question now then Incan get more into my situation. He told me Monday he wanted a divorce, I have been divorce busting. I have off tomorrow and he knows it, I have made plans during the day with the Kids and I made dinner plans at night with a friend for dinner and drinks. He dud not know of my dinner plans yet, I was saving it. Anyways he comes home now tells me he took tomorrow off too and wants us all to go to an amusemnt park. What should I do ? Keep my origanal plans or cancel and do the family thing with a man who aNts a divorce?
Help??? Thank you, Shelby
Me:43 H:43 T:20 YRS M:15 YRS Bomb: 6/9/08 Bomb#2 7/6/10 Served with papers at work 7/13/10 DD:14, DD:11
OMG. An amusement park is the PERFECT place to be fun, carefree, flirty, happy, no R talk, be all peppy and teenager like while having a blast with the kids....
Ride on the "scrambler" thing that twirls and make sure H is on the inside so you get pushed against him......ride a scary ride and grab his arm.... ride the ferris wheel and just be quiet and content while look at the sights....share a snowcone or pretzel.....
Before going though- one tip I've learned is to have a chat with the kids. I remind them that this is meant to be a fun time- that yes they can get a "prize", but not until the end because it's very hard to ride rides with crap in bags. If they bug all day, they don't get one. We will ride all the rides, but not if there is whining. We will take turns on whose favorite ride we go on next.....etc. In other words, I lay out all the groud rules to avoid stress and arguements while we are there. Works pretty well too.
I wasn't sure if it would be going against GAL to cancel with my friend to go with the husband(who wants a divorce) and my Daughters.
Canceling plans with a friend for a last minute invitation with a man, especially one who just said he wants a divorce, shows a lack of respect for your friend and yourself.
Can you do the amusement park with H & kids in the day, and keep your evening plans?
I wish I could do both, but the park is 2 hours away. We would be home too late to keep the dinner with friend.
I know what you are saying, if I go w/ Husband I am going against 180 and GAL. The one thing I was thinking is the fun time spent with my Daughters. He did not know about my dinner with my friend so I can not blame him for that. I am still confused as to why he would want to spend the day like this only 4 days after asking for a divorce.
Me:43 H:43 T:20 YRS M:15 YRS Bomb: 6/9/08 Bomb#2 7/6/10 Served with papers at work 7/13/10 DD:14, DD:11
I know what you are saying, if I go w/ Husband I am going against 180 and GAL.
Yep.
I bet he will find you more interesting if you don't rearrange your life to spend time with him. You could tell him it sounds like fun, but you already have plans for tomorrow evening.
Well I talked to my friend and she understood. I don't know if I am doing the right thing by going but it looks like I am now. I will have to show my happy, playful side all day, no matter how confused I am. Hopefully this will be good for us.
Me:43 H:43 T:20 YRS M:15 YRS Bomb: 6/9/08 Bomb#2 7/6/10 Served with papers at work 7/13/10 DD:14, DD:11
Just sharing: My thinking is that by going, you have the perfect opp. to SHOW H that you are GAL. You show him you are happy with the kids, happy with yourself, full of energy and life.
At the end of the day, you say Thanks for suggesting the park. The kids and I sure had a blast. Goodnight.
He def. doesn't need to know you changed plans.
But next time.... and if the park is fun, there will be a next time- you make sure you have plans with friends and need to say "thanks, maybe next time"
Remember, it's a balance. You have to say yes sometimes. Always saying no and always being busy sends the wrong message too. You have to give H the chance to see your changes too.
