Let me ammend before you think that came off as trite.
It was.
To a degree.
Some of the stuff sounds the same, and some of it is leaps ahead of where most people start off. The mental illness part.
The possiiblity of you thinking that you can talk him out of an MLC OR that your situation is different...is actually...ironically VERY common.
Specific strategies: No pressure. Pressure on a depressed person, and they squirt away.
You are right in the fact that every individual is UNIQUE, however there are some generalities and common denominators:
MOST have an affair.
MOST say that it is a friendship.
MOST are actually more than friends.
MOST lie about it.
MOST say "I love you but I am not in love with you."
MOST are confused.
MOST want what is good in both the affair and the marriage...none of the bad.
MOST blame the spouse for their problems.
MOST have some incident in their childhood that fuckedthemupbutgood.
You have your head in the right place for alot of your thinking...the right place to stand as long as you can.
YOU cannot fix him though.
And no one hear has not said do not be there for him...but only when he needs you, and only if it is good for you.
You GAL and focus on you and you won't have the time to wait aroun don the off chance he needs you.
Seriously, you are afraid that GALing and focusing on you will send him the wrong message...that you are not interested in him? We disagree. It shows him that you are interested in bettering yourself. And THAT is attractive.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
