She thinks that dieting, working out, going to church as well as listening to her when she talks is just too much "in her face" reminding her of how she felt overwhelmed by me when we first started dating.
I'm very confused about this statement. She was overwhelmed in a good way....or not? You were in her face when you were dating?
Thank you for sharing about your health battles. It may or may not be the cause of what started your W acting the way she is. Dealing with life & death issues are not for the faint of heart.....nor the immature. Also, after the battle is won...then there is the day to day things that go along with health challenges. I've seen some family members start out as real cheerleaders supporting the one with health issues, but after time goes by...the stress becomes more than that family member could handle.
I've alos witnessed people who was as solid as a rock. Those who never gave up and seem to always be able to dig a little deeper in order to find the strength needed to keep pushing forward. I'm not taling about the person with the health issues....I'm talking about the spouse or parent or adult child....whoever is standing by their side.
Citygirl is very right on when she says people do not understand if they've not had to fight for their life. Neither do folks understand what it's like to live with a disease or a physical challenge....unless it is in their family where it's been up close. I have been in utter shock at some things that people have said to the one who is "dealing". You know it is said in ignorance b/c they don't have a clue.
Okay, so enough about that. Didn't mean to stay on that subject so long but I guess I'm seeing your W as being somebody who may be trying to "escape" her reality. She felt vitimized when you got cancer. In the beginning, she probably thought life (or God) had been unfair to the two of you. Before all was said and done, she feels sorry for herself. If she thought you were not fighting hard enough or whatever she thought you should do......then she sort of displaced her emotion b/c she didn't know how to handle it.
When I think back of the time I started getting into on-line chatting.....it can be traced back to things similar. It is no excuse at all, but it happens. If an individual has more pressure than they can handle mentally.....or for a very long, long time, then something is going to give.
What could you do to change your physical situation? Nothing. Take excellent care of yourself for yourself. But listen to me....the bag should not affect her attraction to you unless she has the maturity of peanut. Yes, women like strong, confident men......but that is within you, not on the outside. It is all about attitude. You be the sexiest, most self-confident guy she'll ever hope to share air with!
Oh, I have to go.....but I'll be back!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
