Eric..I don't even know where to start with your post. For someone who doesn't even know me, you sure do read me like a book. I didn't plan to have drinks and bombard him with R stuff..but he is much more receptive when he is loosened up..so I jumped on the opportunity..all the while thinking in the back of my mind what you guys have been telling me..to just leave him alone..back off. Knowing that I might push him away but taking the chance because yes, I do think that he might see the situation realistically and understand what is happening.
I am still trying to "fix' him, fix us, fix me..fix fix fix. That's what I do. And I am working on that. I always thought I was helping when I did it, but didn't realize that it comes across as controlling. I'm working on that too.
I know my H sounds confused and he is. And that just makes me want to help him more. I can't stand to see him in pain and lost and confused. It might be a woman thing or because of the abandonment thing..not sure. My C tells me that because my parents dumped me when I was a kid, I try hard to do whatever it takes to make people stay. Too hard. I haven't really figured out what to do about that part yet.
