Actually, not being open and to the point ith him is different for me. I was always open and spoke what I was feeling until he started being rude and callous toward me when I did. I gradually learned to stay quiet and 'suck it up' because he got angry if I voiced any emotions. I didn't tell him that he was making me feel this way or that, only that I was feeling sad or upset, or the like. I also made sure to tell him when I was happy or excited about things to keep it balanced but even that became things he didn't want to hear. I even stopped telling him if I was sick or not feeling well because he got mad. So.....it's learned behavior on my part, not something I come by naturally. Unlearning that is really hard in my interactions with him. Like I said, I'm working on it and I post my failures as well as my accomplishments here so I can see it too.
Gabe's refusal to speak about what is required to rebuild trust is going to push me to a breaking point. With what I've learned about myself, I know I am prone to blurt and spew my feelings all at once when I'm pushed too far and that won't work with him. I know it, I'm actually writing down one item to address per week so I can spread it out. I don't know if I'll make it that long between items but that is my goal anyway.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
