To me, LT, one of the saddest thing about couples in this wayward phase is when you come to the realization that your spouse is NOT really a "friend of the marriage" at this time.
When I realized that my wife really didn't have the marriage's best interests at heart, and therefor I had to, it made me really, REALLY sad. A component of this, to call a spade a spade, is that your spouse is, to some extent, your ADVERSARY right now. Certainly so once things have "gone legal" for some posters here, but even before then, just your DBing efforts, techniques you're using, financial moves you're having to make in the interest of protecting your family, etc., etc.
It's a poker game.
And in poker, you DON'T go declaring your hand to the other guys sitting at the table! They have to PAY to see your cards, and so does your husband. He has to EARN YOU back.
