why am i the whore when i never dated and never went out?
You are not.
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why am i the gold digger when i never took advantage of his credit card or bank account?
You are not.
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what's next? is the next person i am in a r with going to accuse me of being a thief?
They might.
Don't let these unkind words from others define you. Sure, these words hurt, no question. But they don't define you...and don't let the HURT define you, either.
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why do people feel it is okay to attack my character even though i've never done any of this?
"People" don't feel it's ok to attack your character. THOSE people did. Don't define everyone else by the actions of a few.
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it may not be compassion that will ease my anger. but it might be realizing that i need to work on how i deal with things to get a better response.
Get a better response from whom?
One of the things I notice in what you write is that many times your actions/words/plans come with a sort of string attached to them. "If I do this, what will it get me" or "I did thus and so, and it didn't get me anywhere with that person." The thing about compassion easing anger is that the compassion is its own reward. It WILL ease the anger - there is no question to that. Compassion is the antidote for anger. Your remarks indicate that you want the compassion to yield some "response" from H. He may/your father may/ your inlaws may NEVER even notice or know of your compassion for them. That is simply not the point.
