WAW EA told her to leave

[DangerDave]

Hi AJM, Shocked, Greek and everyone else that has had a hand in helping me along my path!

OK well a brief update on date night last weekend and subsequent weekly events...

Date night went pretty well, went to one of our favorite places, had a great dinner, good conversation and NO R talk whatsoever. It was a bit difficult for me to keep the conversations going and stay clear of any triggers for either of us, but managed pretty damn well imo. That night in bed things got a little fired up, she put on her game face for about 60 seconds and then relaxed and we had a great end to an evening out and in - so to speak.

The next morning, she went to the gym and when she returned she told me that she was heading out to her girlfriends place to hang out with her around the pool. Well we have a pool and I knew I was going to be busy all day prepping for the 4th dinner party and also would be having to deal with any kid issues that came up that day as well. I thought to myself that her taking off for the day away from the family was a bit more than selfish so I went into DB mode, told her to have a good time and started in on all the stuff that needed to get done for the next day - was polite but not engaging. She ended up not leaving at all, never got a call back from her gal pal and stayed in all day cleaning the house. I still kept the DB pace up and when done went for a dip in the pool myself! She came out to the pool and started in on me a bit about "not talking to her" all day and that "I got what I wanted last night"! I was incredulous on that statement, but kept completely cool and asked her if she thought that way last night or today - she said today - I said well you were the one making other plans for the day, and I had to get everything ready - she ended it by saying we'd talk later.

Well later came around, bedtime again and she was being very quiet so I took the initiative! I told her and I quote " You're right I did get everything I wanted last night (pause for effect), I got to go on a date with my wife, I got to hold her hand, I got to hold her, I got to kiss her and I got to make love to her - so yes I did get all I wanted." Well that opened up the waterworks and R talk a bit - that she thinks I'm there and she's not R wise - I told her it's ok really and that I don't know where I am at as well, but I am having a great time being me and having fun with our family. She went on to say that she doesn't know if she can trust me (that has changed from I'll never trust you)to stay the way I am now (180's)and that she still has so much resentment towards me for the past (in so many words). So I just stayed with the "that's ok really" and that I had no idea how everything would end up for us either - kissed her head goodnight and managed no ILY's to her - tough task for the emotional levels of the last two days for sure. Sunday morning, the forth of July, started with "fireworks" for us again and was great day, party and her mood was fantastic.

All week I have been very supportive and positive (180) and she has been almost back to pre pre bomb demeanor. Still keeping my distance and not overly entusatic or pursuing, just being a good friend so to speak. Doing some cuddling at bed but not making any advances, just being there to some extent.

We have a family camping trip - another 180 - never been camping as a family and she has also scheduled a week off in August for the family vacation - which has been re-planned to go to Dland etc. rather than up north to my family (my idea totally here as it's boring as heck for the kids and would just cause a very tense situation between all of us - so why bother especially now!)

She has a IC appt this afternoon, #3, with another "new" therapist. She's been very nice and open all week and text's and calls as well.

Only time will tell!

Thanks again!!

DD