He said that he knows it isn't healthy to keep talking to her..for her, for me and for him. he said he is slowing coming to that realization. He said he just needs time to figure this all out. I told him that I was going to stand by my man and give him all the time he needs.
LT,
Even those that advocate "standing by your man" and "giving him all the time he needs," I believe, DON'T advocate actually telling him that he has all the time he needs.
Us humans are "path-of-least resistance" creatures. We seldom make the REALLY tough choices in our lives unless forced into some sort of crisis or credible fear of loss.
I believe in INTERNAL deadlines -- for yourself, to say "I'm giving this "x" amount of time (say, 6 months, or one year), but when you COMMUNICATE that deadline to a wayward spouse ("I'll give you until September 1st to make a decision") you then will find that they will take that as your tacit approval for their behavior, and will do what they please until August 31st, at which time they will promise you the moon and the stars if you'll only take them back.
And when you don't convey ANY deadline? Fine if you say (as I did) something like "Please hurry, as my love for you is eroding every day you do this, and I won't wait forever," rather than actually TELLING them "I'll be here for as long as it takes."
