My UFO (unbelievably fabulous observations)

[hoosiermama]

D14 was telling me last night about the dinner with her aunt, uncles, cousins, and grandparents--the one where the new gf met the whole family. lots of anxiety in the "family system" with xH and gf and D14 heading into it earlier this week; I watched xH deal with his brothers (and overtly seek their approval) for 15+ years. D14 said that gf was a real hit with the brothers and their wives--they liked her a lot. however, she didn't seem to like them and there was much discussion on the way home about how they are essentially verbally abusive to xH in the guise of teasing (youngest son, enmeshed family, yada yada).

so, my point is that it stung some to hear all of this; I still miss my nieces and nephews and feel discarded by the whole family (minus his parents, who have come around unexpectedly over the past month or so). How do you share your lives for 15 years, act as godparents for each others' children, and then just cut someone off like that? while I wonder what he told them, I know that if it was me I would have at least reached out with a note or something no matter what xH said, especially once he showed up with the weirdo OW (the previous gf). I suppose they're rather relieved that he's with the current one, as she's much more "normal," but I still recall his oldest brother whispering in my ear right after our wedding, "welcome, sister."

well, this too shall pass; interesting that it's taking me longer to grieve the loss of extended family than it has to grieve xH and our marriage.