Sorry you had to go thru that. I understand how much words from your parents can hurt you, my "snakes" thrive on those feelings. I think this helps us see where some of your anger comes from.
y'know, even though i knew i wasn't a 'whore', the comment really hurt me. i was the innocent, 'home-ly' girl who lived with her parents and i supported them financially. my father always knew i was home and i never dated. when my h and i started dating, i started dressing nicer. and that's when the comments started. my father knew i wasn't that kind of person but he made those comments anyway.
coach .. do you see the parallels in how my h has been accusing me of being a 'gold digger' and how angry i am about that comment? it's like my dad telling me that i'm a whore when that is so far from the truth.
why am i the whore when i never dated and never went out? why am i the gold digger when i never took advantage of his credit card or bank account? what's next? is the next person i am in a r with going to accuse me of being a thief?
why do people feel it is okay to attack my character even though i've never done any of this?
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Do you see how people cross boundaries and you stuff it? You know it's wrong and it builds resentment in you. Find a healthy way to get it out.
you mean like how i dealt with my hurt by hurting him back? i need to hold myself to a higher standard than that.
it wasn't the right way to deal with it. it may not be compassion that will ease my anger. but it might be realizing that i need to work on how i deal with things to get a better response. i too am at fault because i am in control of my own actions/emotions/reactions. fighting hurt by dishing out hurt is not the way to go. if he wants to hurt, that's fine. set your boundaries properly. but i don't have to "get back at him" by hurting him 10x harder.
