Doc and DB Friends, I know that I can't simply rest and think that all will be well. I think my W is still vulnerable into lapsing into old patterns. I will need to do my part to help prevent these problems from re-occurring. I also know that I can't police her 24/7. I am prepared to call an attorney if a major violation occurs again.
I'll do my best to keep her busy with positive activity, especially since she is unemployed. Having a pool to go to is different for us. It has a relaxing effect on her. On nights when we don't have an activity planned, I've been suggesting we go for an hour, and break-up the evening. I've been telling her that she is looking more tone since we've been attending the exercise classes (she does). I know physical intimacy will have to be addressed at some point. I need to change some avoidance patterns.
I like the frame of positive leadership as mentioned on Doc's thread. I think this captures well the role of those of us in Piecing--moving our spouse's and M forward, in spite of distressing thoughts and feelings.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
