On further refelction, I guess the rest of the speech could go "...and the baby deserves someone who loves them and wants to be there for them 100% of the time and that is obviously not you, so at least now I can get on with the business of finding a new husband and great step-father."
I recently filed for divorce and packed up everything and am making the most of my singledom/ freedom by backpacking round the world. Now, who is the person that has suddenly found his voice - stbxh. I would say out of all my friends he has been in the most regular contact. He even dropped into and email that he has applied for a job in Australia which is bizarre because he knows that is where I am. This is the guy who has been so totally avoident for 2.5 years!
I do reply to messages etc but ususally wait a while before doing so. I always let him initiate. Is this the right way to be playing it?
Ok question about this space thing. My H has left to get space yet says he wont be gone long. In the mean time he has called about stupid stuff and sending texts because I don't answer. Then he calls leaving and texts about what he's doing will try and call later tried to call but I didn't answer blah blah blah. Seriously it has been 2 days. He wanted this space and now that it is here and I've was accepting of ,I am really at peace with it I think I need it. I dont want to be ugly and the space is so we can work this out (if a miracle happens..his words)so I don't fell like talking right now. I don't answer or reply. I mean if it was about our daughter yeah ok but right now I don't want to talk about R. Am I wrong? Is there a better way to handle this?
M37 H30 D1 S18 (previous relationship) M 1yr Bomb 6/25/10
I keep reminding myself I am strong even if I don't feel it. I know from my past this is true. I might just get a tattoo to remind me.
I guess if I look at my sitch honestly and what my actions have been over the last 5+ months my H has been gone, I never truly dropped the rope threads and let him go. I have a few threads still attached for fear that he would NEVER come back.
Now, with his deployment, the only interaction we have is via email and phone. Even with these limited communications, I still have threads attached.
In some ways, (Maybe ??) he does too. he sends me am email sometimes out of the blue to let me know about his day. He was telling me that he is working with you know that General who recently passed out at a Senate hearing (didn't want to post his name, but those of you who follow the news know who i am talking about).
When he initiates, I have always answered his calls or messages almost immediately. I know.. BAD THING TO DO! I am grasping for anytime with him (so that he knows I care). How do I move beyond this? I spent time with family and friends over that last few days, went back to work, and just trying to get out of the house we built that has so many memories..
How to detach when your heart threads are still tied?.... not sure.
Me 41/H 49 M 12yrs No Kids Bomb 1/10/2010 H Deployed The three great essentials to achieve anything worth while are, first, hard work; second, stick-to-itiveness; third, common sense. T. Edison
I mean if it was about our daughter yeah ok but right now I don't want to talk about R. Am I wrong? Is there a better way to handle this?
Good job.. The thing I would add is that when you do talk that you let him know that NOW you agree that YOU need space and that you are not sure how YOU now feel. Then get off the phone quickly and politely.
Let him go and let him wonder if HE has lost YOU. .That is what works the best.
Gucci, thank you I just wanted some input to see if what I felt and was doing was ok and your right I should tell him that when we talk and will do so. I have to be true to myself if I want to be happy even if it means my marriage the end of my marriage.
M37 H30 D1 S18 (previous relationship) M 1yr Bomb 6/25/10
I keep reminding myself I am strong even if I don't feel it. I know from my past this is true. I might just get a tattoo to remind me.
