One thing that I wanted to ask the forum regulars about was if I should be concerned about a potential EA (or even PA). I haven't seen any evidence that there is one, but I don't want to be a sucker. My wife isn't very tech savvy (I am) so it's not hard to try and gather evidence. Nothing in her email, browser history, cell history, or FB page would indicate anything inappropriate.
She does like to flirt (no big deal to me), and has a lot of guy friends at work who she sometimes brings leftovers for. Most of her coworkers are younger than she is, but again, no real warning signs.
She wants to get a tattoo, and she's also wanted to get a boob job for several years. In fact lately she's been making jokes about her boobs a lot. When she first mentioned wanting new boobs, I always told her that she was beautiful, and that she didn't really need them (we couldn't afford them anyway).
So now I think she's either trying to get a rise out of me or fishing for affirmation that they're still fine to me. I've just avoided commenting.
About a year ago, she started to be concerned about her appearance, more than normal. Got her hair colored, started wearing some makeup, and perfume. This was after she had gone to visit some of her H.S. friends on a "girls weekend." I liked the changes, but assumed the motivation was that she was just GAL.
Other than that, no odd conversations or actions on the phone, or weird behaviour.
If there is or has been an EA/PA, I can cope with that. I don't think it would hurt me anymore than the current sitch does, but I know that it would affect how I should approach DB'ing.
- You rec'd the ILYBINILWY speech. - She's not attracted to you and she is probably interested in someone else - You also got the "I don't love you the way a wife should love her husband" speech - plus all the other warning signs you've mentioned, - how much food do you guys cook that she can feed several guys at work?! WTF? I doubt she's feeding several guys, probably one or two in particular and the fact that they're younger than her is the warning sign, considering her age (36), it sounds about right to me.
Get thee to a gym, 30min. a day of walking with your mp3 player isn't cutting it, you need to pump some iron and boost that testosterone that has been slowly fading away in your system while it has been increasing in her system in her 30s giving her the urge to source out some "strange". You need to get in shape, you need to feel that aggressive, masculine spirit inside of you again, you sound extremely passive and laid back, the kind of guy who probably doesn't rock the boat much and probably says things like "whatever you decide is fine with me, I'm good".
