But she sees me contacting the OM, as well as not wanting to sell the house, as a "backslide" into my "old" self.
She says "All you are thinking of is YOURSELF. You are NEVER going to change".
First... SHe's not seeing anyting right now while she's pursuing other men... You can't win that battle AND look like the nice guy... Her PARENTS should be a LOT more involved than they are...
And SHe is the one thinking of herself...
IGNORE all of that crap dude.. just do what you need to do to protect her and your own dignity
Would you be able to accept a divorce from your wife if she handled it with DIGNITY and CIVLILITY and RESPECT?
If that's the case, then you aren't trying to control HER or the marriage as much as you are just fighting for your dignity here...
SHe can complain all she wants, but ultimately she has to say something like :
"OK, I do choose to divorce here, but I haven't been honest, I have been disrespectful and cruel to you. I will pursue divorce, but you will have all my respect and consideration through this. I want to RESPECT our TEN YEARS together and leave our marriage with a good memory... I don't want to DEFILE it the way I am donig"
Would you accept that from her?
If you can honestly accept THAT, then this is about you fighting for THAT, not the marriage, and you certainly shouldn't have to leave your home because SHE can't manage her pain safely...
She IS in pain, I don't doubt that, but there's a respectable way to manage pain and disrespectful... She clearly cares little whom she hurts as long as it is an escape from her pain...
This is about your respect QS, you gave her ten years and you deserve better... if she DID that she would PROBABLY even reconsider the divorce entirely... she's just on the wrong damn road... And her parents are USELESS here... useless enablers... educate them if you can man
Screw the Facebook -- that's petty, immature stuff. Expose to his CO instead.
Look, she's going to be PISSED either way. Better to take the higher, more mature road, and be able to say "Everything I'm doing, I'm doing to fight for our marriage."
Puppy
Expose to CO definitely.. But I would put it up on facebook later, I would NOT HIDE her dirty little secrets from anyone at this point... She really does need to grow up...
The more you fight for dignity QS the more childish she seems to get... SHe's just losing respect from everyone at that point
I'm not advocating hiding ANYTHING. I'm saying that FB is an immature way to do your exposing. In everything you do in confronting/exposing, you want to take the High, Impeccable Road. Facebook ain't it.
Screw the Facebook -- that's petty, immature stuff. Expose to his CO instead.
Oh I plan to. However, Facebook will give me such a broad range of exposure that EVERYONE will know sooner or later.
I am through playing games. She wanted space, I gave her space. But NOT to do this with another guy. She always complains about her "privacy", which means she wants alone time to have sex chats with him.
And she ALWAYS runs counter exposure to her friends, which makes me look like a complete nutjob. They all pity her and say, "Awww poor thing. you really like this guy and your psycho husband won't let go".
Last edited by Quicksilver264; 07/08/1001:40 PM.
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
Make sure if you DO post to fb QS that it presents you in THE MOST mature light possible... you cannot just rat her out like a child here...
A post asking for respect and civility during a painful divorce and exposing your wife as hurt, in pain, and upset will look at lot better than a simple name calling spew... Point out there are men preying on that
Also, your lawyer will HATE it. The less stuff you have out there in writing, or able to be screen-shot, the better.
I am still on the fence on this one pup... but you are nudgin me ... I dont use fb so I don't know much about how immature it appears to ohters... particularly the courts
It varies by age group, the social-acceptability/maturity of it. I turn 50 next week. To people of my generation, it's EASILY viewed as childish, immature, and petty to post something like that, I think.
To my daughters' generation (20-25), completely not so.
People 25-49?? Probably somewhere in the middle.
Lawyers of all ages and stripes will equally hate the idea, I'm pretty sure.
