About the custody and kids, I teach high school and I see how it affects the students. Many of the students from split homes do not do as well in school, especially if it is split 50/50 and the parents do not work together because then the child does not do their work or just learn to play their parents against one another. I hear a lot "I am going to just go live with my dad/mom because my dad/mom won't let me do..." I also see that a lot of these students pour themselves into relationships early in high school which is not good. Many times they learn to be lazy and helpless because no one really wants to push them to achieve higher and if one parent begins to discipline and work hard to help the child, the child rebels and just leaves for the other parent, and continually goes back and forth, which causes even more problems.
Sometimes I don't think you see the damage until the children start building relationships of their own. Either the idea that they are overly drawn to having improper relationships or that they can't commit shows up then. Sometimes when children are younger it can almost be cool because they get double everything. I know if H and I were together we would get S one big gift as his parents, but now he will get one big gift from me and one from H. They look at the immediate stuff.
The one thing that helps is that the parents are in constant contact about the child. Even in D, if the parents are both strongly involved, then the child does better. Or if it isn't 50/50 and the parent with full or sole custody remarries and sets up a good family. Then the child does much better. At least from what I have seen in high school.
Me29 S3 H left 4/1/09 I file 8/2/10 Divorce final 5/17/11 1st http://www.tinyurl.com/25lhu52 2nd http://www.tinyurl.com/2c35ueg 3rd http://www.tinyurl.com/322yk89
