The journey begins

[ClingingToHope]

StupidRomeo, here's why I think I have to learn how to forgive. Ask yourself this question, "what if karma never teaches her a lesson?"

Would that crush you?

I mean what if my STBXW gets promoted, finds another guy, sells the house for what is owed on it, moves into a smaller, easier-to-maintain one and develops a healthy work-to-parent ratio with the girls?

If that happens does that diminish my life?

I want so badly for her to admit she was wrong, that I was helping and she needs me.

But if I sit around waiting for that I may wake up 30 years from now bitter and alone.

I'm infatuated with the thought of dating 31. What if it actually happens and things are going well. At some point my failed M is going to come up and if I haven't forgiven STBXW, truly forgiven her, that'll likely come out and then what?

31 and any other woman will likely run rather than risk committing to someone who can't let go.

So I know I have to forgive. I just haven't been able to ... yet.