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#2034393 07/08/10 10:28 AM
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I am beginning to feel depression, loneliness. I really have no one who understands or even tries to understand what I am going through to talk with. This is all becoming so overwhelming suddenly. I am in IC and I participate weekly in a support group, but still... I feel all alone in this. How do you get through this? I would love to have someone to chat with...::sigh::


M: 34
WAH: 38 (in MLC)
Together: 11 years
Married since: November 2000
DS: 15
DS: 11
DS: 10
ILYBINILWY: Dec. 2009
Living separately since: April 2010
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 2,588
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RLay,

It's easier to keep track of your sitch if you stay on your original thread.

I understand your depression and loneliness. I also know what you mean by those friends and family who do not know what you're going through and don't understand why you're doing what you're doing. Quite frankly, they get sick of hearing it and seeing you in pain. That is because they love you. They don't understand it and feel if you would just let it go you'd be able to get on with your life.

I've just quit talking about the sitch to those people. I know they love me and support me and it keeps me from beating a dead horse with them. When they bring it up I just tell them it's going to take a long time and I haven't closed any doors. Then I just change the subject.

Trying to educate someone as to what your S is going through when all they see is you hurting is to them that you're making an excuse for your S and you are not facing reality.

What are you doing for yourself? What kind of GAL activities are you doing? Have you read the resources or DR yet? Learning as much as you can about MLC gives you a better center and footing.

This is tough stuff RLay, no doubt about it. It takes patience and the gift from it all, is time. Time to take those things that got you here in the first place and work on them. Time to find yourself again. Time to find out what it is you really want and work towards that.

When you're feeling down, come here to chat, ask questions, read.

We all know and understand what you're going through. We're taking the same journey walking right beside you.

(((Hugs))) Hang in there! You can do this.




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Rlay

What are you doing to GAL?

What are you doing for you?


My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
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SA hit it square on the nose, Rlay.

This IS hard. And you CAN do it.

I have found this board to be of great comfort. Sometimes just getting it out in the open is the best way to start.

Stick to one thread (preferably the other one you have going here--not this one), and jump in on some other threads.

You will be surprised at how clearly you can see someone else's sitch & offer bits of insight. It will help see yours in a whole now light.

And you'll make some pretty incredible friends in the process.

Hugs, sweetie. One day at a time.


formerly known as "shelbel"
Me 40, stbxh 40
DSs 9, 7 & 3
M9, T10
Stbxh is a diagnosed bipolar & an addict. The end.
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Rlay, are you on the alt?


formerly known as "shelbel"
Me 40, stbxh 40
DSs 9, 7 & 3
M9, T10
Stbxh is a diagnosed bipolar & an addict. The end.
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 85
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I don't know what alt is...? Thank you for the responses, I will head back over to my original thread.:-)


M: 34
WAH: 38 (in MLC)
Together: 11 years
Married since: November 2000
DS: 15
DS: 11
DS: 10
ILYBINILWY: Dec. 2009
Living separately since: April 2010
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 4,034
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Originally Posted By: RLay1100
I How do you get through this?


Stay in the moment and live day by day. If you're focused on what's missing, lacking or what you wish you had you will remain in this state.

You have to shift your focus off of him and the situation and place it on yourself and what you need to do or who you want to be.

It's work, not wishing. You can do this.

In time these feelings will become less severe and less frequent. Stay focused on you moving forward in a positive way. Do something different, do something you've wanted to do but couldn't. Step outside your comfort zone...whatever, anything to keep you moving forward.

The alt is facebook.



Don't stand still.
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I could tell you, but that would entail my taking my face out of my book and searching for...

wait, where am I again?

^hint lol


formerly known as "shelbel"
Me 40, stbxh 40
DSs 9, 7 & 3
M9, T10
Stbxh is a diagnosed bipolar & an addict. The end.
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 11,646
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The Alt is facebook.

Divorce busting is also on FaceBook and a good place many people here becomes FANS of Divorce busting there. There are also many good videos and inspirationals stories on DivorceBusting on Facebook.

You get through one day at a time. Rlay. By believing you can make it through today. Tomorrow? Tomorrow is tomorrow, figure that out tomorrow.

Repeat that everyday you get up.

Today is not the day you quit.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

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Sorry Jack. You are more direct--I'm afraid of getting banned. smile


formerly known as "shelbel"
Me 40, stbxh 40
DSs 9, 7 & 3
M9, T10
Stbxh is a diagnosed bipolar & an addict. The end.
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