Movin' On...

[AliSuddenly]

Its not THAT bad though is it, if Nathan ever found anything?? Its all part of growing up, boys/teenagers will find and look at porn and be curious, thats normal. He's a little young right now of course.. but me and my BFF found her Dad's stash of porn in the wardrobe when we were 8 and wow we were enthralled and thought it was cool! It didnt do me any harm, in fact, because of hers and my parents openness, I've always had a very healthy attitude to sex and no body/shame issues. I knew my Dad had porn material too and I never had any desire to seek out 'wierd' stuff when older, as it just seemed so normal and everday.

Making it seem so wrong, dirty, shameful and being disgusted by it, now THATS what creates issues and may be exactly why Dan ended up like this.

I agree with the IC that bringing it up with Dan could be counter productive and of course, I doubt you could have ANY influence on his lifesyle or how careful he is, you cant police, you cant be there, you cant know how careful he will be in reality, even if he promised to be in future. The only real way to protect them would be to get a lawyer to detail it all in a letter and insinuate that you will apply for reduced visitation if you feel the kids are at risk of exposure to harmful material, but I doubt you want to do that. Plus as the IC says, its not illegal, its just like smoking, its a lifestyle choice.

I think its fair enough to be concerned though and maybe you should speak to him (not about the camera) in a way that wont embarress him into a counterattack? How about meeting with him and saying you have been thinking about the time you unpacked his case from the lounge floor and found porn DVD's and whilst you respect thats his choice to partake, you are really concerned a curious child could find things like this, or photographs, or other adult things and its been really worrying you. Can he reassure you that he will be careful and protect the kids from exposure as they are so young? You worry because you are D now and you cant be there all the time so its natural, as a mother, to worry? I dont know, just appeal to his better nature... if he has one !!???