Hi I agree Newlywed. Everyone deserves a chance to be loved. Difficult circumstances in our pasts will obviously have an effect on us, but I like to believe that if you have the desire to become healthier you can, especially if you get some help. Like with addicts the most difficult step is recognising you have a problem.
I had a difficult childhood in many ways. My step father was an alcoholic who used to beat my mother. He did not really care for me and I sort of feel I grew up without a father. My mother was often depressed (not surprisingly) and used to move house every few years, we were always quite poor. I also had a difficult time at school, perhaps partly because of the strange upbringing. I did not fit in and used to get picked on a lot. Although I am quite good academically and did well in my exams I ended up leaving school at 16 and making a lot of bad career moves.
When I met my H I was 17 and just starting my second bad job as a factory hand. He had also had a difficult childhood and we had a lot in common in this way. We could each understand some of the difficulties the other had in dealing with certain situations.
I suppose that this could have negative effects as well, you could drag each other down. If you have read my thread you may have seen the problems I have communicating with him over some issues (including sex). But mainly this has been a wonderful relationship and we have both been very happy. I think I have got over a lot of the problems I had when I was younger. I think of him as a support and our R has really helped me when my life was bad in other ways. I have been very happy with him. I have a good life now and consider myself lucky.
Perhaps I still have some hangups and problems relating to my past but all the great rock stars do too. I think I have also gained some things by what I have gone thru. I have good coping skills, I value what I have more and I am pretty accepting of people. Also perhaps if I had not had these problems I would never have met my H and I would have missed out on a wonderful M.
