How long have you been married? Has your wife always been LD? I would say that my husband is almost ND, really. And I always feel as if I am walking on eggshells with him. Especially if it's been awhile and I would like to make love. They say that you should be selfish in bed, but I can't afford to be. I am very concerned in his experience being positive so it won't take so gall darn long until the next time.
Does your wife enjoy sex once you get started? My husband (IF I can get him started), seems to enjoy himself. I read the part in the book about writing on the back of his hand, "Remember, you LIKE sex," and laughed because he seems to forget that he does enjoy. But getting him started is almost impossible.
I DO think that they get mad at us so that they can justify their behavior. If we are good spouses and keep our end of the marital bargain up, then really, I don't see how they can feel okay about it in their minds.
The only thing that seems to break the cycle for us is when we actually DO have sex. When I get to this point, that is really all that I want. But the strange irony is that by this point, I want sex only for the POINT of sex. I am so frustrated and hurt by him, that I don't even physically want it any more. What is up with THAT?
Anyway, in another post someone recommended that I try doing the following:
1) NOT talk the situation to death, but focus on the good in our relationship.
2) Get to the counselor like he has finally agreed to do.
3) Do 180's whenever possible so that we break and not repeat the cycle.
I am going to try my darndest and I'll let you know!
