It seems that the original discussion of his listening style somehow got twisted to her listening style. Or lack thereof.
That wasn't the original point. Sox jumped in with that one on her own because that is what she feels is going on in HER life, so she is projecting it onto IDU.
Well, this is the discussion as I saw it:
Originally Posted By: idontunderstand
She said the other day that she tried talking to me about her day at work and I kept walking off and staring up into space. I know from being here what to do when she tries talking to me. <snip> She says I didn't listen at all.
Originally Posted By: Coach
Teachable moment.
you did what you would do if two men were talking. men like to multi-task, we like to be busy when we talk. you solved the problem with the kids because it was a distraction to you.
this is her perception (not saying you were wrong)
Originally Posted By: idontunderstand
I do feel like I can never win. I always think about your phrase "cat whisperer". I like it, it makes me smile. I guess in the heat of the moment, even when I am making a conscience effort to give her my undivided attention, I slip up. I do realize that I didn't always listen the way she wanted and that it is important for her to share her day with me. <snip> I am making the effort and I do care I'm just not doing it correctly.
Originally Posted By: Coach
"Wife I was thinking about what you said and I understand why you said it. I realized that I didn't listen the way you need and that it is important for you to share your day with me."
At which point Sox joined in with what you call projection and I call perspective.
