"All rise"

[Gardener]

fib,
I was everywhere you are now, 19 years ago. All those feelings. This is what I did:

I'm not sure that there is much else I can do right now outside of just being a dad.

End game. Raison d'etre. The absolute best I could.
My two sons, now 31 and 34, are the closest relationships in my life.
Even before the (first) divorce - when they were toddlers - I knew I wasn't raising children, but men. And would ask myself - often in the most trying of moments - "what do I want our relationship to be when they are men, twenty, thirty years from now? Respond accordingly now. Build that today. And every day"
Stay the course, fib. Build it. Endure the pain and loss and prioritize their pain and loss.
It will bear the sweetest of fruit.