No, but according to him I am. And apparently with everyone. Co-workers, a boss, mutal friends.... So many accusations really, that sometimes I wonder why I haven't cheated.
And I'm not fooling myself. There will never be communication if both parties don't recognize they NEITHER is communicating. She tried to talk and assumed he wasn't listening. That has nothing to do with an affair. That's communication. That's him not recognizing her communication style, and her not recognizing his listening style.
That's marriage 101. And it was happening long before the affair and will continue with both of them into a next relationship unless they are lucky enough to find someone whose communication style compliments theirs.
He is here to work on his marriage. If she continues to think he doesn't listen, she is going to stop trying to have conversations. End of story.
I busted my divorce 5 years ago, I'm here again only because of a pissed off day when I threw out the D word because of H's lack of communication; his continued jealousy and control; and being tired of the accusations. And me making the same stupid mistakes I made before in my reaction. We both still love each other, we both still want it to work out. It was stupid and I'm working to "take it back".
And quite frankly, all these years later reading posts after being successful in stopping a divorce, it's very different than reading and responding while going through everything. It's a whole 'nuhter set of glasses so to speak.
