Back from the vacation to Mexico with WAW to celebrate her 40th birthday.
I said to some friends that I thought this trip would determine what would happen between us. Unfortunately, I was right.
While we never fought or anything, we just didn't commect all week. WAW was frustrated with me quite often and I was not comfortable a lot of the time. When we were away in April, and even since then, things seemed to be getting better. But, the vacation was a real step backwards.
D18 told me that WAW told her that "we won't be getting back together" - "your Dad hasn't changed" "it's too late".
I called WAW today and admitted that I didn't think it went well between us and to ask her what her thoughts are. She's still not willing to say it's 100% over and that there is no hope, but it's close. She again told me I can "date other people".
Unless something dramatic happens (and I have no idea what that could be) we will stay with our current plan to sell the house next June and proceed with the divorce.
The optimist in me says that still gives me almost a year, but the realist tells me that I simply am not the man she wants me to be, and can't make genuine, lasting changes to be that man either.
Only a few days before the trip, when I took WAW out for her b'day dinner, things felt good between us. But I think one week of being together 24/7 brought reality crashing to our world.
Today, I am sad, but accepting. Back to one day at a time.....
