here's my 2 cents for what it is worth, coming from a wife who's husband doesn't listen worth a dang.
People have different conversation styles. I was talking on the phone yesterday with an old friend who mentioned that I had different types of pauses when I spoke, then went on the describe the ways I pause and the reasons for them (like to offer the other person an "in" to the conversation, to allow "digestion" time, to gather my thoughts, to get a handle on my emotions....etc). Bloody blew me away too!!
Very perceptive me thinks. I don't think my husband notices that- thus my perception that he isn't listening.
For example.... when I pause for an input and he says nothing- I perceive that he is staring off into space/ not listening.
Now,on your part as the listener; a pause in the conversation could be for something as simple as an "uh huh", or a "yes", or "go on".... or a nod of the head.....something that says- Yes, I am listening and you have my attention. It's not for a whole complete sentence, here let me tell you what to do type response....but more like a chance to affirm that you are listening and understanding- possibly even ask a question for clarification.
I mean simple phrases like "wow! she did that!", or "Really?", or "I wouldn't have thought of that", or "that was a good decision"....appropriately placed in the conversation SCREAM that you are listening and taking an active part in the conversation and in her.
Now, the question is..... do you recognize the subtleties in your wife's speaking style so that you can be an "active" listener as opposed to a "passive" listener?
