sometimes it hurts just to be around him because I'm not getting what I want from him.
Taylor this is going to be difficult because you are not going to get what you want.
One of the things about detaching is recognizing that you CANNOT control another.
The more you try this(controling or expectations) the worse you will feel.
Originally Posted By: taylor
Wouldn't it make more sense to do some stuff that will make him feel happy with me, instead of detach? I guess I associate detach with ignoring them..but that probably isn't it, is it?
A common misconception is that detaching means you don't care or love your spouse.
The important thing here is detaching is for you.
It is so you can take yourself out of the emotional rollercoaster so you can gain a clear perpective and begin to heal.
This is not done as a tactic to manipulate your H into some desired outcome.
Read others threads and you will see how this process plays out in their healing and growth.
As hard as this is for you to hear, your H is not in this M right now.
Your best thinking as to rectify this has brought you here. Yes?
I know you have heard this but you are in the best worst place to be.
Just listen (cyber listen of course) and read.
Detaching gets easier when you GAL.
Time to focus on Taylor and take care of Taylor
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
