My D and I were talking and she told me my w was texting someone named xxxx, and last night my W said she was talking to her female cousin but it was a male voice on the other end.
I asked my W about it, she explained what it was, may or may not be true. To be honest I don't care at this point. She accused me of accusing her, and got angry at me because she knew i wouldn't be able to accept that this was actually about her and I only and not someone else.
After a some text messages back and forth, she called and said she was going home to tear into my D for trying to cause problems. I was in a doctors appointment, and walked out to run home and head her off.
I got there before her and tried to stop her from going in and tearing into my D. She went in and did it anyway. After awhile she started telling my D everything that was going on between us. she told her about the court date and that we were getting D for sure. Up until now, my D thought we were working on things.
As the conversation went on all my W was doing was saying bad things about me to my D, and trying to hurt me. Most of it backfired in her face, and even my D called her out on stuff. Unfortunately, the stuff my W said is actually what she believes to be reality.
At the end of it all we agreed that the door was closed on us. She had been mean and hurtful for the last time to me. I told her the only interaction we would have is to discuss issues with our daughters. No more doing things together or trying to act like a family.
Even my D told her to to get over the past. My W told my D that one of the reasons we're divorcing is because we can't see eye to eye. I told my D that no one in a relationship see's everything eye to eye. You do sometimes, but you work through what you can't
My W is very much detached from reality, and is the reason we will never be able to move forward together. All we can do at this point is move on separately. At this point it will be a miracle if we ever get back together. i told her that she didn't deserve me. I know I'm a good husband and father and don't deserve this treatment.
"...i told her that she didn't deserve me. I know I'm a good husband and father and don't deserve this treatment."
I'll hold you to that last part, let's see if you can make it stick ;-)
I'm sorry bro, I didn't want to be right about this, I really didn't but your wife really had no good reason not to want to fix the relationship with you if someone else wasn't in the picture.
What would she have to lose by working things out with you if no one else was involved?
But she had plans already with someone else.
She got angry at you for accusing her, she gave you permission to date (thank you wife, I appreciate that, you're allowing me to date while you've been seeing someone already, glad you're being fair about this LOL) - she wants to give you false hope by going through the divorce procedure but letting you know that things might work out in the end (in case things don't work out with the other guy, you're the safe fallback option, the backup plan should planet fruitopia spontaneously explode when it collides with reality here on planet earth) - she got angry at your daughter for siding with you because as much as she is enjoying the attention of another man, she doesn't like the feeling of being guilty about it and being judged for what she's doing.
You can handle it, I'm confident you'll get through this.
Time to take her up on her offer and start some social interactions with members of the opposite sex.
Regardless of how angry she appears right now, wait until she hears that you've gone out on a few dates. This is all very similar to the analogy of the new toy/old toy issue with a child, they want both if they can keep both and have a hard time making a decision on what they want, the new toy is exciting and new but the old toy has always been there, there is a feeling of security and history attached to it, the child wants to play with the new toy most of the time because it's new and exciting but doesn't want to let go of the old one just in case the new toy doesn't work out.
Sucks to be an old toy.
But.... I think you can turn this around, first and foremost, you need a break from all of this. A break from this problem, even a break from this site, take a few days/few weeks, relax/recuperate/regroup and start with a fresh relaxed mind and a clearer view of all of this. Focus on being a great person for yourself and a great parent for your kids.
Let your wife have her new toy as long as she knows that you aren't waiting around for her to come back.
