WAH and LBW separated and dark

[DumpedforMIL]

Did you post that you bought a house when you did it or did you just do it?

i just did it.

Where are you two in the D proceedings?

my l is still working on the sep agreement.
i have given him my comments but my l has a very busy practice.
i had to ask recently if my h has filed for d yet.
i really don't know how the whole process works. like when can he file? does the sep agreement have to be done first? i'm bracing for the day that i get served.
i figure h can file any time. it just won't get done until the 1 yr separation is over and then it gets granted. filing just puts it in the queue.
can someone help explain to me what i should be expecting? that way, i'm prepared. sorry if this sounds all negative but i've read a lot of threads lately and not to say that my sitch is unique but i'm not getting a warm and fuzzy feeling on whether i am gaining any ground. i have no idea what i am doing or where i am heading. but d sure sounds like the end goal whether i want it or not. i ask if someone can give me some explanation because i am fogged up and i can't see things right now. and all i get is "he didn't leave you for his mother. but you think so." ok. then help me understand your point of view. i have given my side. i don't mind read. if he is mad at me for not expressing his ll, then ok .. his ll is gifts and pt. he was mad about not getting enough pt. at this point, he won't let me get near him so there is no pt opportunity.
i am frustrated because i feel like i'm going along with his plan. i'm doing the work and doing my own thing, improving myself, being happy, catching the attention of other guys but time is ticking.

What would have been a better way to respond to that by you?

the old me would have made a really offensive comment about the way his "new woman" like her men. but i would be assuming that there is a new woman.

i don't know how i could have responded. i didn't know what else to say so i figure i'd say something safe .. like "really? how could that be? is it because of the protein drinks you were consuming to gain weight?" we had both dropped a lot of weight due to the d. so he was on protein drinks to gain weight. all of his gym workouts have stopped and he's turned a bit flabby.

i know you think i'm mind reading but my guess is that he is evasive because he knows how i feel about him and his attachment to his parents. he spent the last two weeks with his parents and during that time, he went on a 1 week cruise with his dad and oinked out on cruise food. also, his mom tends to send him a lot of homemade baking. h has trouble controlling his consumption of her baking - i witnessed this during our m. along with the lack of exercise, i'm not surprised to see him gain all this weight. at the age of 40, your metabolism starts to slow down but his food intake doesn't change.

Is there any indication/intel of a OW?

i still don't think there is.
records are clean and he is either at home or at the squash club.
would there be any reason to hide the OW now? we're no longer together so he doesn't need to hide an A or OW from me.
at the same time, i don't think he would. gucci and others may not agree, but our mutual friends don't believe he would either.
although i have a suspicion that he bought a home in the same area as me.

Does H approach you to play? Who initiates conversations?

that's a tough one.
we play in a foursome. and it depends on who the other two players are and what their skill level is. since he is used to playing with me, he knows my style of play and there is little chance of us making mistakes. we've played together for 5 years so we know each other's style/strength.
we played well together yesterday - i improved a lot with practice and i'm stronger now. i got a lot of "good shot" type comments from him. i'm a really good playmaker so i set up a lot of good shots for him. he gets a good workout when he partners up with me and he gets to exercise his power.
he plays with me because he's familiar with me. often when there is a choice, he will play with me rather than against me. he won't risk breaking his racquet or he doesn't want to waste time learning someone else's style of play.
but if i want to play with someone else and play against him, he won't stop me. he'll say it's my choice.

for our final game last night, the new guy came into the lounge and he said "ken, one more game?" ken says sure. new guy says to me "are you in for a game?" i said sure. ken asks h .. you in? h could have said no, i'm done for the night. but he said .. i think i can do one more game. no, i didn't read that in any way.

as for conversation, he usually initiates because i really don't have much to say to him. but every so often, i would say something. nothing too serious.

i dunno .. somehow i still sense some anger/hatred towards me.