1. First, you aren't "snooping".. you are PROTECTING your MARRIAGE
2. He isnt' there to ask you questions... He is there to WATCH you protect the marriage... something HE should be THANKING you for
3. What on earth are you waiting for him for? You crack open MS Excel and you make a LIST... all the accounts he has for everytyhign.. you put the username and the password in it
Once you are done you ask him to confirm the list and if there is ANYTHIGN you have missed that may enter the marriage and the home that any PREDATOR to teh marriage may use to threaten the SAFETY of the HOME you two have together
THIS is how you WORD this stuff.. .its not snooping.. and that wans't his GIRLFRIEND... SHe's a predator to the marriage and YOU are PROTECTING yourself, your home, your marrige and HIM as well
Don't do this in front of him... He just needs to know that his life is SHARED
I forgot one thing JP... YOU do the SAME THING
You put a spreassheet together with all your accounts and the userid and password (minus this one)
YOu tell him tehre is NOTHING omitted from there that is harmful to the home...
He does NOT need to include all his online shopping accounts etc... communication channels only
You REMOVE the web cam from his PC if it is removable... YOu get him to clean up all the crap on his pc he might use to contact her.. any pics of her or email.. ERRASE her from teh HOME
And his comments about not having time yet is an EXCUSE ... his MARRIAGE is at threat here... EERYTHING is lower priority than that...
You two are an OPEN BOOK to each other... NO SECRETS...
SECRETS are marriage CANCER... TELL him that
Its ok to have a LIFE outside each other, but NOTHING is held back that is a THERAT to the HOME or MARRIAGE
If an x girlfirend emails him.. HE FORWARDS that to you and does NOT respond until you BOTH discuss it... for example
