Quotes found on Divorcebusting (II)

[Ready2Change]

I think it's time you lead and lay down how your home is going to roll. You need to reclaim your house/bedroom and call her out on the Cr@p Behavior. She keeps you off balance by telling you she needs to talk then telling you she's done - that's your speech to give.

Tell her you need to talk.

This is very specific, not up for negotiation and it works.

"Wife, I have been doing some thinking. I know I have hurt you in the past and for that I am sorry. I agree this marriage isn't working for me either. I have decided I won't share you with another man. I am moving back into the house, you will move into the garage apt. I will contact my L to get the D filed."

You have thought about this (decisive), you admit your fault, you agree with her and set her free, you call her out on the A, you reclaim your home (manly) and you give her the bomb. Now she can choose how she responds. No ultimatums, not controlling her just giving her what she wants but with you leading (attractive). She knows you know about the A, she wants you to fight for her, she will respect you for standing up to her - that's a test.

Don't reveal how you know, just say "I know all about Russ, don't kid yourself." if she tells you there is no OM. She really wants you to put your foot down and call the meeting to order. She will be angry and still test you. This isn't personal just about behavior that is unacceptable in your home. She has a choice in how she behaves and you have a choice in how you let her treat you. You can handle it.

Strength and Honor
Coach

How do I handle the angry behavior?

Anger is good it means she is still interested. So if you are getting flamed on just remember "Coach said this is good, Coach said this is good."

Just agree with her, "I understand this isn't working." Don't let her tell you what you think/feel/believe. "you just think......" or "you feel like...." just respond "You don't know how I feel if you want to know just ask."

You will probably hear that she can't trust you ("I understand the lack of trust"), she was ready to come back until this happened ("I can see how me knowing what I know would change your plans.") , you made her do it ("No, I don't control your actions this is your mess.") , they are just friends ("Please don't take me for a fool, we both know better."), you are running around ("No wife, I am actually very focused and another woman is the last thing I want now.") ........ all to keep you from staying focused. When in doubt say nothing or "I am thinking about what you said."

Don't get baited into a fight. Know when you are most alert and plan your talk then. You end the conversation and leave the property. If she gets crazy film her with your phone.

You stay calm, collected and confident. Check your negative emotions at the door, be loving towards her.

You can handle it.