During the conversation, one of the kids started crying in the other room, W was doing dishes while talking and I said, "hang on just a second" and stuck my head in the hall and asked the kids what happened. I came right back and said, "okay, you were saying Sally at work told you....." and picked up right where we left off. I thought it went well. She says I didn't listen at all.
Teachable moment.
you did what you would do if two men were talking. men like to multi-task, we like to be busy when we talk. you solved the problem with the kids because it was a distraction to you.
this is her perception (not saying you were wrong)
Quote:
She said the other day that she tried talking to me about her day at work and I kept walking off and staring up into space.
She wants your undivided attention, your focus - eyes, ears, heart and mind.
Solution - "I really want to be with you right now but the kids are distracting me and that's not fair to you. Let me go take care of that and come right back so I can focus on you. How does that sound?"
You can try telling her how you were really listening and that it's not fair how she characterised it. I bet you felt like you can never win. That's fighting emotion with logic. Try applying emotion to emotion, be a cat whipserer.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
